These past few weeks have been a whirlwind of activity and I haven’t taken any quality time for myself. I haven’t spent any time on my blog or writing short stories or recipes, haven’t decorated our salon for Hanukkah (and it’s almost over!) and I have a few gifts still to finish before our family celebration tomorrow evening. My home and husband are both in need of my attention. Half day of work today with the other half committed to paperwork for the sale of Nana’s house and errands. And a busy, busy weekend ahead with the kids. The last time I felt rested and not rushing was Thanksgiving weekend.
So I stood on the end of the finger and closed my eyes. I listened to the sea birds calling to each other and the water lapping gently against the neighboring hulls, felt the bite of cold air on my skin and breathed deeply. I let my thoughts drift from my “To Do” list to the miracle of a new day unfolding and opened my eyes to watch the world awaken.
As the orange hues of the sunrise deepened, my thoughts turned to Nana as they always do. Orange was her favorite color and is also the color of Northern Ireland, my father’s birthplace. Tears pricked my eyes as my heart squeezed with the pain of missing them. They both loved the holidays and, most of all, the joy of being with family. In my mind, I imagined Nana holding Ellie, exclaiming over her plump cheeks and that glorious smile; Daddy on the floor with Cody and Matthew, playing with cars or building a new toy set. And both of them so proud of the lives Meghan and Harley are making for themselves and what wonderful people they have grown to be.
I sighed and and went back to my warm salon, made my cuppa and opened Facebook to read today’s “Memories.” And there was this post from one year ago today:
I was in deep grief over Nana’s passing and having a hard time finding joy without her in my life. It took many, many months for me to not cry every time I thought of her, which was more often than not.
In reading this post from last year, I realized how blessed I am in the here and now. It’s a busy time for sure, but it won’t always be this way. Harley will go back to Oregon and I won’t see him for many months. Brian will come home from deployment and they will have plans with other family and friends. And life will go back to everyday routine. I’ll take every moment I can to create memories that will live in my heart when my loves are far away.
For now, I’ll allow myself the simple pleasure of a few minutes to write and sip and reflect before starting the whirlwind of a weekend ahead. And, as Daddy used to say when life got busy, “I’ll sleep when I’m dead.”